Humor

Rule of Cool - Know Your Roll

‘Ours is not to reason why, ours is but to scorch the sky.’

Raze has a problem. He’s just a Gearblin.

That makes him a Non-Participating Citizen - he can’t see his stats and he can’t make opposed rolls against Heroes. His life is worth less than the vendor trash he hands out chained to a desk at the worst (and only) arcade in town.

Some say it didn’t always used to be like this, but once RNGesus left the party 1,000 years ago the questionably-blessed Heroes conquered everything.

But Raze has a crush on Patch, and she’s a dreamer. When she wakes up with knowledge of an ancient fortress and a series of symbols in her brain, everything changes.

▲ ▲ ▼ ▼ ◄ ► ◄ ► B A START

The Konami Code makes him a Hero, which means it’s time for Raze and his mismatched crew to square off against an assembly of 15,000 noob Heroes in epic, crunchy, badass, Mechanized carnage.

Clear and Present Ranger (Caverns and Creatures)

What do you do when you encounter a maniac in the woods who poses a danger to himself, others, and the world around him?

If you're Tim, you fuck off to the pub and get shitfaced. Unfortunately, the rest of the Caverns & Creatures gang are going to make him stick around until they solve a seemingly unsolvable problem.

Luxury Cafe Owner

Alan Pender, a bored, 20-something, college graduate with a degree in general studies woke up the day after graduation and suddenly realized his degree was useless and he had to get a job. As he walked around looking for help wanted signs, a series of unfortunate accidents occurred resulting in him entering a coma. When he woke up, he discovered he'd been granted a mysterious system. Moreover, the system finally provided him with some direction about what he should do with his life. Follow Alan as he explores his new found calling!

Your Anus is a Gas Giant (Caverns and Creatures)

Pressure mounts as Cooper and the C&C gang try not to offend a dangerous woodsman.

Can Cooper stay clenched long enough for them to flee to safety?

I really think you'll enjoy this one. It's a gas!

Raze (The Completionist Chronicles Book 4)

Humanity on the run. Desperate base building. Dark deeds done during daylight.

Joe has started to draw attention to himself and his abilities. While some of the attention is good and allows for personal growth, most of it is from various organizations that feel threatened by the sudden upswing of power that Joe’s guild—The Wanderers—are attaining.

As the threat to earth begins to reach its peak, all of humanity has a choice: flee to Eternium, or stay for an uncertain future. Some stay, some go, some don’t make the choice quickly enough. In Ardania, the human Kingdom is seeing an unprecedented influx of people. Supply and demand is an issue no matter where you go, as a civilization of a few million can’t prepare to accept an eighth of earth’s inhabitants at once.

Joe sets out to solve problems where he can, but he can’t be there for everyone… especially when a group of smiling enforcers are working to bring him down.

Village of Noobtown: A LitRPG Adventure (Mayor of Noobtown Book 2)

Well, it could be better. Jim and his literal shoulder demon have survived, so far, by the skin of their teeth. 

After finding a long-abandoned starter village, Jim has begun the process of rebuilding his town. Unfortunately, for our favorite adventurer, the threats he now faces are far more complicated than mere monsters. The poor Noob has to deal with angry townsfolk, trade negotiations, and a talking badger.

With goblins and bandits also sniffing around, will Noobtown, I mean Windfall, survive?

Somerset (The Rules Book 1)

WELCOME TO SOMERSET

A land of mystery and magic! You have been chosen by our Illustrious Overlord to take part in The Rules: a no holds barred death-match, to see who among you is the most powerful. You have been transported here against your will. The only way back is to reach level 100 and defeat the final boss. Please do be careful with your life, as it is the only one you’ll get.

Have a pleasant match, and remember, we’re always watching…

When Sam wakes up in a strange new world with a message floating before his eyes, he thinks he's hallucinating. However, he soon discovers a land filled with dungeons, monsters, angry gnomes, and even worse, talking dogs!

Warning: Contains profanity and content that may not be suitable for children. This is a LitRPG book, containing multiple stat sheets, message windows, dungeons and epic loot.

Harem Trash: A litRPG Satire

Obi Imsi enjoyed his life as an overpowered paladin tryhard filled to the brim with beautiful women who loved him unconditionally for all the wrong reasons.

Everything was going great until he tried to woo the wrong one and was polymorphed into a literal trash can.

Starting back at level 1, he must find someway to regain his power and hopefully return to his real body.

He soon finds that his new life won't be easy, and he embarks a fantastic fantasy adventure that's so bad, it's good (terrible).

Galactic Fist of Legend 4: Life Werx

Fresh from the battle with zombie mecha pilot and grand necromancer, Waldo, Scott and his team take a much needed breather back on Hellespont. Of course, rest and relaxation are not allowed for long. Old problems coupled with new possibilities join together to create a fantastic new ability that will reshape the very foundation of how he will play the game going forward.

Even as the call to adventure draws him from his comfortable apartment, and life of harem related shenanigans, a bigger threat looms in the distance.

Galactic Fist of Legend is one of several series of books that are part of the Project Scott multiverse. One Scott soul, infinite possibilities. Cool guys. Hot videogame babes. Epic boobery, exploding lesbians, and a battle against the dread cosmic entity known as... Global Warming?

Come! Witness the spectacle!

Slimes and Misty Wieners

A simple hunting expedition leads to a discussion of the nature of good and evil, and the good and evil of nature, when Julian and the C&C gang find themselves imprisoned in the home of a druid and wizard. Horses die. Pants are soiled. For science.

The Heroic Villain

Although he was once the promising young CEO of a successful corporation, Lucas abandoned everything he knew and retreated from both the real world and his demanding life following a horrific accident. In order to cope with tragic loss, he began spending his time in virtual reality, lazing about in the sun and living a carefree life.

When he learns that his escapist paradise is being threatened and is about to disappear, however, Lucas is once again forced to take action and do what he does best: take charge. With newfound purpose, Lucas desperately begins making plans that will not only save the world that he has come to love but also propel him back into the spotlight once again—only this time as the villain.

In this GameLit LitRPG adventure, Lucas overthrows local lords, assumes command of the evil Imperium’s forces, and begins designing a dungeon that no player would ever want to miss out on. As he struggles to evolve his monsters and create an entourage of minions in order to become the greatest villain ever, however, Lucas realizes that things aren’t going to be as easy as they initially seemed.

Beta Life: Digital Sorcery Book 1 (A LitRPG Series)

Old and about to die, Christopher Ryland is digitized in the new beta program offered by the Everlast Corporation. The beta promises eternal life in a video game, but as Ryland is soon to discover, he should’ve read the instruction manual first.

The corporation failed to mention that it populated his new world with slavers, sadists, supremacists, and one very trollish elf. All right, that last one isn’t really their fault. Sure, he might live forever but with a serious lack of RPG knowledge this isn’t going to be the fun and relaxing retirement he imagined.

He might not be the world’s greatest gamer, but he won’t let anything keep him down-not even fish herpes.

Rexus: Side Quest (The Completionist Chronicles Book 3)

A side quest in Dakota Krout's best-selling Completionist Chronicles series!

Vengeful assassins. A treacherous companion. T-Rex Head Hands.

After the Wolfman nation is shattered, Jaxon has enough spare time to advance his skills and specialize into a better class. Since Joe and his other teammates are either incapacitated or on a mission Jaxon does not believe in, the misunderstood chiropractor turned gamer strikes out on his own.

The issue with creating your own path is that you have no idea what awaits you, especially when low charisma guarantees legendary misunderstandings. For Jaxon, that’s half the fun.

Rexus is a Completionist Chronicles side quest focused on Jaxon and is meant to be read following Regicide.

The Sleeper Must Awaken (The Twenty-Sided Eye Series Book 3)

Joe has the power. The question is, can he hold on to it?

The malevolent kingdom of the night is now aware of his presence. A confrontation is guaranteed, just as Rook intended.

Joe provides freedom to the oppressed and enslaved. They flock to his banner. His nine-to-five job is gone forever, for a ruler of a kingdom never sleeps.

He believes this magical world is a game designed for fun, with no real consequences, but he couldn't be more wrong. His AI partner is starting to see this new reality for what it is.

Will Joe, in his ignorance, continue to defeat every opponent? Or, in order to survive, must he be awakened?

Someone's going to die the final death, there's no way around that. Only who?

Infinite Lives: (Infinite Lives Online Book 1)

Winter is coming, is it? Well, if my shrivelled-up little energy bar is anything to go by, I’d argue that it's already f***ing here.

Trust me, the infinite lives hack seemed like a good idea at the time.

Welcome to Infinitus, an exciting new MMORPG where you can make friends and mutilate people, without the complications that often arise from the latter. If you fancy having your digitized soul stuffed into a Wizard, an Elf, or one of any number of fantasy bodies, then this is the fully immersive gaming experience for you. Magic, melees, and if you play your cards right, adventurer-on-adventurer action await.

Or at least, that’s what the sons of glitches on the commercial promised me.

What I got was the Lord of the Rings on bloody amphetamines. A glitching garbage-fire of a game. As I write this, I’m trapped in a Red Zone, with a horde of unstoppable murder fiends, a clingy nemesis, and a pack of players who couldn’t give two tugs of a Donkey Kong’s you-know-what whether I live or die. The wrong end of my flaming sword keeps catching fire. The only NPCs who want to have sex with me are members of the Gnome community. And to make matters worse, I can’t log out.

Um, I did mention the tank full of heavily armed soldiers in mech suits who just arrived, right?

I am so screwed…

Warning: “Infinite lives” contains swearing, stats and violence, the FPS occupation of a fantasy MMORPG, a hung-over gamer girl in a mech suit, a chainsaw wielding Amazon, sleazy Zombies, an evil Necromancer, the most pointless artifact ever, characters with unbelievably inappropriate avatars, an ad-saturated cyberpunk future, an excessively violent horde, inappropriate workplace behaviour, a drunk Wizard with a ring fetish, weaponized Gnomes, non-PC NPCs, and possibly a melee et trois.

More swearing than Ready Player One. Less words than Lord of the Rings…

Couch Potato Chaos - Gamebound

You know those times when you’re surrounded by a squadron of blood-thirsty ninjas, your back is to the wall, you’re down to your last heart container, and all hope seems lost? In situations like that, it’s important not to panic, to take a deep breath, and to remember that even if you do shuffle off this mortal coil, by the laws of Etheria you’ll shuffle right back on it again.

Meet Tasha, a couch potato with no accomplishments to her name. That all changes one fateful day when she gets sucked into the world of Etheria. Here, in this world of adventure, she can become the strong person she’s always wanted to be.

After rescuing a princess from ninjas, one thing leads to another, and before she knows it, she’s drawn into a massive quest to save Etheria. With friends by her side, Tasha must figure out who she really is.

The Wang is the Hardest Part (Caverns and Creatures)

After a hard night's drinking, Tim and the Caverns & Creatures gang find themselves abandoned and left for dead on a deserted island. They soon discover, however, that the island may not be as deserted as it seems. In order to survive, they will need to search within themselves and travel to some very dark places.

This is a standalone story in the Caverns & Creatures universe. Give it a try to see if the C&C series is right for you.


Guild Master: A LitRPG adventure (Tower of Power Book 1)

A second chance at life on a new world.


Morgan used to be a pretty normal guy. He went to college by day and played online games by night, leading his guild into new conquests—until he got hit by a car, and a dude wearing a wetsuit appeared in front of him. The man offered him a new chance at life in a world that he had created, a world with similar rules to the games that Morgan loved to play. There is the promise of great rewards and power, he says, if Morgan manages to complete the Tower of Power. Stupid name, I know.


Morgan didn’t usually trust strangers who seem to have god complexes, but he was in a pinch. There’s a crazy-looking dude saying that he is technically not a god on one end of the tunnel, and a blinding light on the other end—and he was really not digging the light.


So he accepted the offer from the surfer god-not-god.


Getting dropped into a strange new world with no idea what the rules are was not something that Morgan was a fan of; and in this strange world, it seems like everything is out to eat his face. It was a good thing, then, that he stumbled onto two half-elf twins willing to help him get the hang of this strange new world.


Now, all he needs to do is survive long enough to reach this Tower.


Office Wars: Lab Coats Optional

Bran wakes in Neuroma, but has no idea what happened the previous night. He continues to progress through Office Wars while secrets start unraveling everything he thought he knew. Some secrets could destroy everything, while others open new paths. What future path will Bran's secrets reveal?

Vicky returns, but is she who Bran thought she was?

Plenty of laughs, more introspection, and a conclusion to this season of Office Wars inside. Do not worry, you will see Bran and friends in future series. All Odditek Online series operate in the same multiverse, you might even get a few hints at other stories that I'm writing or have written.