Join Dave as he lands a new job at Fantanic, the worlds leading gaming company testing state of the art and fully immersive gaming hardware as an in-game goblin and the 8th newest player to the realm of Spectacle Online.
My Opinion: 23 pages, $2.99, Available On Kindle Unlimited
This short story has an original RPG class and decent premise. But nothing is really done well. There are numerous technical writing issues like dialogue without quotes, shifting tenses, and missing capitalizations, run on sentences, and other issues. It ultimately feels like someone's first time writing something.
On the story side, nothing really exciting happens. Half the story described the main character (MC) as a pizza delivery man and how he gets recruited to test long term immersion gaming. It takes half the short story to get to the game world. The MC chooses to be a goblin mage and fights a few monsters. Too much time is spent on the MC being amazed about the pain sensations, the realism of the game, or basic game mechanics. The ability to create pizza comes in the last few pages and then it just ends.
Score: 4 out of 10